Is My Nervous System Trusting Me?

"I can meet this moment without abandoning myself."

We often ask if we can trust our body, if we can rely on it to carry us through challenge and change. But have you ever asked: does my nervous system trust me?

At first, it sounds odd. After all, isn’t my nervous system me? Yes—and also no. It is you, but it’s also an ancient, protective system that developed long before you could put words to experience. It doesn’t deal in logic or strategy—it deals in survival. And until it senses that you are taking care of your body, your energy, and your boundaries, it may not hand back the keys to health and vitality.

Think of it this way: your nervous system is constantly scanning, moment by moment, asking:

• Am I safe?

• Do I belong here?

• Can I rest?

• Is it okay to open, connect, and grow?

If the answer is consistently “no,” it pulls the emergency brake—locking you into survival states of fight, flight, or freeze. That’s its way of saying: I don’t yet trust that you’ll protect me.

A Sample Dialogue With Your Nervous System

Imagine sitting down across from your own nervous system, like an old friend who’s been a little skeptical of your promises:

You: “Why won’t you let me sleep through the night?”Nervous System: “Because last time you ignored my signals, you pushed too far and I crashed. I don’t want that to happen again.”

You: “Why do I feel tightness in my chest when I try to slow down?”Nervous System: “Because slowing down used to mean danger. Remember? If you paused, things caught up with you. I’m bracing for impact.”

You: “What do you need from me to trust me again?”Nervous System: “Consistency. Boundaries. For you to notice my whispers before I have to shout. For you to pause before burnout. For you to breathe with me instead of against me.”

The shift begins here—not by controlling your nervous system but by creating a relationship with it. Trust is rebuilt when you tend to the small cues, the subtle sensations, the body’s way of saying: 'Please, stay with me in this moment' or 'I need a few minutes to recalibrate' .

At times it can feel like our nervous system is putting us to the test. Just when life demands our best, it pulls us into exhaustion. When emotions rise, it floods us with tension. When we want to show up fully, we feel overwhelmed and reactive instead.

It can almost feel as if the nervous system has a mind of its own—testing us, challenging us, even sabotaging us. But here’s the deeper truth: the nervous system isn’t against you, it’s for you. Its always communicating and in a constant state of processing

through sensation,

breath,

thought patterns,

energy shifts, and relational cues—about what it perceives as safe or unsafe, possible or impossible, dangerous or life threatening. Understanding this communication is a helpful step toward transforming reactivity into presence.

It all begins with Mirror Neurons: How We Learn to Self-regulate and Feel

Some believe from the moment this system is formed within the womb, its tracking and forming its baseline rhythm. Certainly, it's safe to say that from the moment we are born, our nervous systems are wired to mirror. A baby learns safety, comfort, and regulation by gazing into a caregiver’s eyes, absorbing tone of voice, and syncing breath to the rhythms around them. These mirror neurons are designed to help us connect, belong, and survive.

But here’s the paradox: as adults, this mirroring can become both our gift and our downfall.

• The Gift → We can empathize, attune, and connect deeply.

• The Challenge → We can also absorb too much. We may become reactive absorbers of others’ stress, or rescuers who abandon our own needs to manage someone else’s.

Regulation isn’t about being “calm” all the time. True regulation is about being aware and attuned and feeling resourced to adapt in healthy ways in the moment. This gives you staying power to be real in the 'hot seat' of real time. It’s the capacity to notice when you’re living beyond your limits and vulnerable to being triggered, to track old patterns (self-betrayal, medical and emotional trauma, self-neglect ), and to choose resources that help you explore new options and how you would prefer to interact and respond in the moment. That awareness is what rewires the pathways of your nervous system from difficulty in grounded connection and over-reactivity to presence.

Your nervous system is not here to limit you. It is your map—a living record of every ounce of stored survival stress, every protective shield, every moment you adapted to overwhelming circumstances. When you feel triggered, it’s not a sign of weakness. It’s a message: something in your past or present still needs your care or that you need to up level your NeuroCare© for your brain and body and nervous system to help integrate the energy of activation.

When you view your nervous system this way, you can potentially recognize the inner script, and instend of feeling your body goes one way and you the other, the battle ends and you walk together, reunited in body, mind and soul . You realize it's less about “fixing” and more about learning how to listen differently, to partner with it, and to guide it toward balance. It’s about cultivating a nervous system that knows it can trust you—so it no longer has to “test” you. Your nervous system is always trying to help you heal. It’s inviting you to build the relationship and healthy boundaries that will set you and your system free.

Why This Matters

When your nervous system begins to trust you:

Your body loosens its grip. Muscles soften, digestion improves, breath deepens.

Survival stress states receive an opportunity to feel safe enough to soften and settle. Healing accelerates. Repair isn’t blocked by constant alarms of danger.

Growth becomes possible. Energy once trapped in vigilance becomes available for creativity, connection, and purpose.

It’s not about pressure to feel “calm all the time.” It’s about being present enough to be real—in real time—being with what is arising, without making it wrong, while also carrying the inner knowing: 'I can meet this moment without abandoning myself.'

The Trust Leads to Transformation

A trusting relationship with your nervous system is the ultimate foundation for self-compassion. It’s what allows you to show up as a regulated presence rather than a reactive rescuer or absorber of others’ stress. It gives you the clarity to know what is yours to hold and what is not. It lets you set boundaries not as walls, but as living membranes that protect your vitality.

In this way, nervous system trust becomes the soil in which healing and growth naturally take root.

Try This Practice: Tonight, before bed, place a hand over your heart or belly and ask:“What do you need from me to feel safe right now?”

Then listen. Not for words, but for sensations—a softening, a sigh, an ease in the shoulders.

This is how trust is rebuilt: small, consistent acts of listening that soothe survival stress and remind your body that it is not alone in carrying the weight of your life.

Your nervous system doesn’t just help you to survive—it longs to trust you enough to allow you to reconnect and to take the steering wheel and drive your life in a way that can support you to begin to feel moments where you truly thrive.

To understand more about the Vagus Nerve and The Resource of 'Vagal Support' visit https://www.handsoftimehealing.com/product-page/truths-and-treasures-of-the-vagus-nerve-unlock-the-hidden-power-within-you?origin=side+cart