
Nervous system restoration is a crucial practice for maintaining emotional, psychological and physiological well-being. By addressing and regulating our nervous systems, we can significantly reduce the risks of falling prey to manipulative tactics. This approach helps build intelligent resilience, fosters self-awareness, and enhances our ability to recognize manipulation and respond to it assertively and effectively.
Why Nervous System Restoration Matters
The nervous system is our body's command center, orchestrating our responses to external stimuli. When our nervous system is dysregulated—due to trauma, chronic stress, abandonment or neglect—we are more vulnerable to manipulation. This vulnerability arises because a dysregulated nervous system often impairs our ability to think clearly, set boundaries, and trust our instincts.
Dr. Stephen Porges, the creator of the Polyvagal Theory, explains, "A well-regulated nervous system is the foundation for feeling safe and connected. It is crucial for social engagement and forming healthy relationships."
Vulnerability to Manipulation
Certain individuals are more susceptible to manipulation, particularly those with a history of trauma. Trauma responses such as the fawn response—where a person becomes overly accommodating to avoid conflict—make them prime targets for manipulators. Innocence, a lack of experience and sense of self, high levels of self-shaming along with a tendency to trust others easily can also make individuals more vulnerable.
Dr. Judith Herman, a leading trauma researcher, states, “Trauma impairs the capacity for trust and self-protection, making survivors more vulnerable to further abuse and exploitation.” This is especially true for those who experienced neglect or inconsistent caregiving during childhood, which can impair their ability to set boundaries and recognize manipulative behaviors.
How to Recognize Emotional Manipulation
Recognizing emotional manipulation can be challenging, but it’s a vital step toward protecting your emotional health and restoring balance to your nervous system. Manipulators often use tactics like gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and playing the victim to gain control over their targets.
Psychotherapist Dr. Robin Stern explains, "Gaslighting is a tactic in which a person makes their victim question their reality, memory, or perceptions." This can lead to self-doubt and confusion, weakening your ability to trust your own feelings and instincts.
Other signs of emotional manipulation include:
Constant Criticism: Undermining your confidence by regularly pointing out your flaws.
Isolation: Encouraging you to cut ties with friends and family and sacrifice your career making you more dependent on the manipulator.
Blame Shifting: Making you feel responsible for their problems or emotions.
Silent Treatment: Being ignored or given the cold shoulder without explanation.
Half-Truths: Receiving incomplete or misleading information.
Mismatched Actions and Words: Promises that are never fulfilled and actions that contradict stated intentions.
Exclusion and Isolation: Being deliberately left out of important discussions or decisions.
False Promises: Promises of rewards or promotions that never materialize.
Recognizing these signs is the first step in protecting yourself and nervous system restoration helps you regain control of your inner world to help you uphold boundaries and with clarity and confidence.
These manipulative behaviors are red flags, the more insecure, dysregulated and anxious people are the more manipulative they become. When the inside world is in chaos, the outside world becomes the object to control.
Those with fragile egos are particularly covert in the abusive delivery of their tactics, they can look like charismatic kind members of the community and behind closed doors the confusion, shaming, denial, gaslighting, selective memory loss and smear campaigns leave their targets feeling like they are 'losing their minds' and 'going crazy', creating immense physiological and psychological harm.
Navigating life with a healthy nervous system, you stand more firmly within your sense of self and your personal power and manage your heart energy exchanges in wiser ways.
Two Scenarios: The Impact of Nervous System Restoration
Scenario 1: Falling Prey to Manipulation
Situation: Jane is a highly empathetic individual who often finds herself in emotionally manipulative relationships. Her friend, Sarah, frequently uses silent treatments and half-truths to control Jane's behavior. Sarah promises to help Jane with a project but then ignores her calls and texts when Jane seeks assistance.
Manipulative Tactics:
Silent Treatment: Sarah ignores Jane, causing her to feel isolated and desperate for resolution.
Half-Truths: Sarah gives Jane vague reasons for her unavailability, leaving Jane confused and uncertain.
Impact: Jane, with an unregulated nervous system, feels anxious and overwhelmed. She internalizes Sarah's behavior, questioning her own worth and reliability. This cycle of manipulation leaves Jane feeling powerless and dependent on Sarah's approval.
Scenario 2: The Healed and Wiser Version
Situation: After working on nervous system restoration, Jane has developed strong self-awareness and emotional regulation skills. When Sarah begins to ignore her calls and texts, Jane recognizes the manipulative pattern and sets a boundary.
Healed Response:
Recognizing Manipulation: Jane identifies the silent treatment and half-truths as manipulative tactics.
Setting Boundaries: Jane calmly informs Sarah that she needs clear communication and follows through by distancing herself if Sarah continues to manipulate.
Impact: With a regulated nervous system, Jane feels confident and empowered. She no longer internalizes Sarah's behavior and instead trusts her own instincts and feelings. Jane's ability to set boundaries and maintain healthy relationships is a testament to her growth and resilience.
Conclusion
Nervous system restoration is a vital practice for safeguarding against emotional manipulation. By implementing restoration techniques early in life, we build resilience, enhance self-awareness, and strengthen our ability to set boundaries. These skills not only protect us from manipulative tactics but also contribute to our overall well-being and emotional health.
In a world where manipulation can be subtle and pervasive, taking proactive steps to regulate and restore our nervous systems is one of the most powerful forms of self-care and protection. Those who have experienced early childhood trauma, lack worldly experience and who lean into people pleasing are most vulnerable to manipulation. Reclaiming our inner strength, trusting our instincts, and living with authority and quality self-leadership will help maintain the integrity of your energy and goodness.
At Hands Of Time Healing we are committed to building nervous system awareness.
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